she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
bring money and cleavage
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
