I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
