If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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