nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
