i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
