Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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