spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
