I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
