It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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