he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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