Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
