cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm at about main and main street
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
