do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
