I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
