I think i peed on brittanys purse
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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