i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
