my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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