those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He did a backflip because drugs
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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