You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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