Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
