we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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