why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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