last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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