I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He shit in the fireplace
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
