am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
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