Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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