I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Rumble strips road head = magical
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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