you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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