I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
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It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
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