brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Randomize
