We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
