Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize