Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
