Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i think i have two assholes
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
