At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
