What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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