We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
