my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
