your thong is hanging out like whoa
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
