I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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