Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just found puke in my bra..
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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