Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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