Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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