she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
