I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
