I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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