It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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