It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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