Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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