I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
