3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
