Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
