it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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