Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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