dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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