And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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