i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
