had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize