My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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