Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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