It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
