between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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