he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
