This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
