dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
